The surprisingly tough part about getting engaged!

October, 2017

I’m so happy you’re here. Our Konsulting company is excited to share with you helpful hints, tools, ideas, and events with you through our blog on Kavoossi Konsulting. Let’s get this show rolling! This month let’s talk about how to even get started. You’re one in a million and the love of your life has proposed to you in such a special, heartfelt, and meaningful way. You spent some time celebrating with your friends and family, really soaking it in that you’re going to share your life with this person. Now what? I can’t tell you how often couples come to us with this perplexing situation. It’s totally real. Now what? Now, you need to make some decisions and some of those seem super scary and intimidating. Some of those decisions involve deciding if you need to spend your savings on a wedding or if you need to talk to your parents about money (I mean, that’s the worst), or if you need to invite Aunt whatshername to come rain on your parade at the wedding. Every decision you’re about to make, albeit together or not, will help shape your wedding and your marriage. So, think it through, and don’t rush a thing. Since the wedding industry has become a multi-billion dollar giant in the last decade, its important for most people to make sure that they are getting what they want, but not overspending just because Florist A has 50,000 followers on Instagram. Let’s face it, there are companies out there who think they are the shit of the world just because of their followers. But, what it really comes down to is service. So, let’s give you some of our great service by Kavoossi Konsulting with coming up with the first three steps we think you need to decide for your wedding.

Number One: Budget.

Yes, it sucks thinking about this. If only everyone could just have a million dollar wedding for $10. The reality is that you are going to need to have this conversation. No, you aren’t going to have any specifics really when you start off and yes, you are going to need to still make this decision. Deciding your approximate, repeat: approximate, budget is the starting point of everything else. It will determine your venue, vendors, and where you can and cannot splurge. It might include having to talk to your parents about money, and to each other about money, which if you haven’t really done before and your finances are still separate, might get uncomfortable.
We encourage you to get your squealing over with and then get busy with coming up with a number. Assume that you are going to have to spend at least 10-15% above your approximate budget. You might find a dress that you can’t live without or a tuxedo vest that is to die for. You might decide to have a rehearsal dinner and Sunday brunch. You might even decide to have a specialized cigar bar. Whatever you decide, know that 10-15% will almost be guaranteed to happen. If you don’t end up spending it, great, you just saved that money!
Back to the lecture at hand, figure out the number. Whatever it takes. Do it when you’re both in a good place, when no one has drama at work or within families, and when you can dedicate legit time to it. If you need to consult with other people, aka parents, family member, friend, bank, give yourself a deadline for that. Much anxiety is caused by unknowns so if you know the date of when you’re supposed to talk again after consulting with that party, you might feel more at ease.
Once you figure out the number, write it down, and commit to each other to do your best to both respect it. The last thing either of you need is more drama around finances.

Number Two: Guest Count.

Yup, you guessed it. That’s right—figure out how many other people you want to pay for to share in your happiness to celebrate your marriage. The key here is share. These amazing human beings are going to be the ones that are going to be in your memories of your wedding experience. Make sure they are worth it. If you can invite everyone and their mom, great. If you can’t and you want to or have to be selective, be that—selective. Evaluate everyone as someone who is going to be there to be a part of your happily ever after. They won’t just be your guests because they are going to be involved in your life moving forward as a couple after that experience.
The guest count is going to be an approximation. You can adjust this later but you need to get on a spreadsheet 3 things: 1- your guests together, 2 & 3- and then each side’s guest list, if you are including their guests as well. Your shared guests are going to include your best friends, your core group, if you work together maybe your coworkers and/or boss. Your individual lists will include your family members, cousins, family friends, if you don’t work together then your coworkers and/or boss. Its important for our couples to see this separation so that they can then work on their guest list if needed to shrink it or build it up.
Once you have your approximate guest list (or guest lists), come up with a total number, something that you can both agree on that feels comfortable and reasonable. This might be 45 people, it might be 750 people. Whatever it is, this number is going to help you narrow down your venue and event search. If you have this done, congratulations! This is a huge step!

Number Three: Local or Destination?

Deciding this is going to determine your venue size, location, and price. Those are going to be the main factors involved in choosing where you want to celebrate your union. Some things to consider:

1) Do you have a huge guest list and would destination help cut your cost down but not your respect for the guests that you just have to invite?
2) Is everyone who you want to be at your wedding healthy enough to make the trip? Would their presence or lack of presence make or break your experience?
3) Are their cultural or familial factors that are at play for this decision?


This is the final step in the Now what? series that we recommend. This final decision will determine if you are going to be searching locally and within what radius of your home or if you will have a destination wedding. Remember, if you and your future spouse live in two different locations and your families are from two different places, this is something you will need to discuss to be sure no one has hurt feelings or is disrespected.
We hope our post today has helped clear the way for you to get started on your Now what? process and we hope we have given you some level of comfort in knowing what you need to get done first.
We love hearing from you so feel free to leave a comment below and tell us your thoughts.

Love,
K.K.